Sunday, June 14, 2015

Remembering my stepfather

That expression when it rains it pours is really proving to be true in our lives right now. A mere 3 weeks after Danie left us, my stepfather was also taken from us. I am truly hating cancer right now.

My stepfather was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few years back. We had hope that they could do something about it but unfortunately last December we were told that the cancer had reached his bones and there was nothing that could be done. We were crushed.

We embraced our faith and made the most of the time we had left with him. We spent Christmas day in the hospital with him and every Sunday after that was dedicated to him. Even when we had other plans on Sunday, we made it a point to stop by and visit him afterwards.  Both my sisters took leave of absence from work and stayed at home with him full time. It was up and down in terms of health for the past five months until about May when things really went downhill.

He was in so much pain and there was nothing that could help with the pain other than constant drip of morphine. Unfortunately the morphine also numbed him. He just kept deteriorating everyday until the good Lord ended his misery and made him an angel about 10 days ago.

Though we are heartbroken about this loss, we are thankful that he didn't have to suffer very long. We are thankful for the time that we got to spend with him, we are thankful for all the things that he got to see and enjoy, and we are thankful that he is not in pain anymore.

My stepdad was a great man. He married my mom almost 20 years ago and changed our lives for the better. He treated us with love, care and truly embraced us like his own children. I thank God for putting such a great man in our lives. He guided us through College and so many life decisions. We were blessed to have this surrogate father in our lives.
When I was getting married almost 6 years ago, I wanted him to know how important he was in my life so I asked him to walk me down the aisle alongside my biological father. He was so touched.

With both my dads during the rehearsal before the wedding, my stepfather is on the right
With both my dads on my wedding day
I love this picture of my dad hanging out with my grandma, this was a few months before he found out about the cancer, he was so healthy here
His health deteriorated so much in such a short time that he was a shadow of his former self. He was so sick last Christmas that he spent Christmas in the hospital. John's favorite thing to say was always "peace" so my brothers and I did the peace sign for him when we visited him
By April he was so sick that he had to be transferred to full time care in a nursing. Me and Bean hanging out with my dad
John surrounded by love
The Sunday after my brother graduated from Pharmacy school, we went to visit John at the nursing home. He was so tired and out of it at that point but he found the strength to tell my brother how proud he was.

My brother and John hanging out at the Nursing home
We brought the kids along for the visit, John always loved to have them running around everywhere

Tman does not mess around with his nap time, he just slept the whole time
Bean and Jbird just ran around everywhere
This was the last time we visited John with all the kids and he was aware that we were there. He was transferred to a hospice the week after this visit and became an angel a few weeks later. This weekend we put to rest a great man, the best surrogate dad anyone could have asked for. May your soul rest in peace John, until we meet again in heaven.


  1. I am so sorry for your loss :( That is beautiful picture of you and both your fathers from your wedding. your family is in my thoughts.


  2. A beautiful post dedicated to him. Praying for you and your family that God will grant you comfort and peace.

  3. A beautiful post dedicated to him. Praying for you and your family that God will grant you comfort and peace.

  4. My heart is hurting for you. I'm so sorry about the loss of your family. The most important thing is how you had laughter with him. Hugs!

  5. My condolences to you and your family. May God guide you through this time of sorrow

  6. Sorry for your loss Peg...i know this must have been difficult for you to share, big hugs to your mom and the rest of the family!!

  7. So sorry for your loss Peg!!! Keeping your family in my prayers <3

  8. I am so sorry for your loss Peg. This is so hard and I can't imagine how difficult things have been. Keeping you and your entire family in my prayers.

  9. I sent my condolences in response to your comment on my blog. This is heartbreaking but I'm glad you still have fond memories of him. You guys are continually in my prayers!

  10. Thank you so much you guys. We appreciate all the thoughts and prayers.